This is the correct, edited version. All changes have been
highlighted in dark red and underlined.
Edited text
Zoe
felt the Jetranger slow and then come into a hover position. It slowly rotated
until the nose was aligned with the major axis of the island. From the right-hand
side of the helicopter, in the aftermath of the driving wave, Zoe watched
a ferry and several assorted boats capsize. Passengers floundered in the water, none in life jackets. The lucky ones
found debris to cling to, while a few hardy souls swam strongly, divesting
themselves of excess clothing in an attempt to survive.
The
wave overwhelmed all the bystanders on the piers and banks with its rapidity.
The flooding was extensive, covering most of lower Manhattan and parts of
the surrounding boroughs. It was as if a giant muddy lake had suddenly formed.
Junk of all kinds floated on the surface: boxes, trash bags, paper, pieces
of wood, and cars, intermingled with bodies.
Zoe
felt sick--she wiped the window with the palm of her hand, as if there were
the slightest doubt this was an illusion. People were drowning in front
of her, and there was nothing she could do. She struggled for breath. Small
waves were sloshing on shore, like on a beach. Several cars that had floated
off the main roads were now slowly sinking. One black sedan on the East
River Drive abruptly disappeared, replaced by an oily sheen. She surveyed
its wake, but no human forms merged.
Brookes
pulled her close. "You okay?" he said , cupping his hand to her
ear.
She
nodded, gripped his hand, and turned her head back toward the
carnage, unable
to take her eyes off it. Further inland, people were swimming and frantically
scrambling to find higher ground--anything that would serve as a refuge:
a concrete wall, a window ledge, a step, the top of a car. She tried to
estimate the depth of the flood inland, but it was tough at this altitude.
Scrutinizing the water level and trying to visualize what was missing, the
rise above ground seemed to be ten feet ... maybe more.
There
were now dozens of bodies floating on the surface. Her palms oozed sweat.
The pit of her stomach felt as though it contained a lump of concrete. God,
she thought, I've got to get tougher if I'm ever going to get through this.
Gilmont
shouted something unintelligible. She looked back and saw that he'd unfastened
his seatbelt and was frantically clawing at the window. She touched Brookes
and pointed. In answer, Brookes unhooked his belt and maneuvered in the
confined space to reach the back row. He gripped Gilmont by the shoulders
and started talking. Whatever he was
saying, it seemed to be working, Zoe
thought. She picked up the headset next to her and fitted it over her head,
brushing hair aside. "Vern? Can you hear me?"
A
huge flash in the downtown area diverted her attention--a fireball swiftly
followed it. She glanced at the skyscrapers nearest to her. The interior
fluorescent lights were blinking out, block by block. The city was growing
ominously dark.
The
pall of smoke grew, ceased, and then gradually dissipated. Boats that were
out, on both sides of the river, were slowly nosing toward the buildings,
picking up survivors--there were precious few. She thought about the people
that had been inside, on the ground floor. They never stood a chance. Then
there were the subways....
She
felt nauseated again and tapped the microphone. "Vern?"
"Zoe?"
His voice sounded strained.
"Gilmont's
in trouble," she said. "Stephan's dealing with him, but we need
to get out of here. I think this stationary position's making him freak
out."
"Got
you. Time we split, anyway. I hear Boulder calling."
Moments
later she felt the helicopter dip and begin to pick up speed. It banked
sharply to the right and dropped even lower. The
twin towers of the World
Trade Center swam into focus. They were a dozen floors lower than the roof.
"Vern?
What's going on? Why are we going lower?"
"Chaos.
Pilot says it's not safe to be any higher. Air Traffic Control is working
on an emergency basis. All the New York airports got flooded--bad. They're
non-operational."
She
heard a choking sound over the din of the motor and the blades. "Non-operational?"
"Sorry
... poor choice of words. They're mostly under water. Lots of partially
submerged planes and drowned passengers. The Center on Long Island is still
functioning, but they're overwhelmed, trying to reroute dozens of incoming
planes."
Brookes
dropped back into his seat and drew closer to her. His face was the color
of chalk. She removed one earpiece of the headphones so that she could hear
him better. "How is he?" she asked.
"Better.
He just lost it ... vertigo ... panic attack, who knows? I've got him doing
a yoga breathing exercise."
The
headphones crackled to life. "Pilot says we'll be at Morristown Airport
in about fifteen minutes."
"Okay,"
Zoe said, with relief. "Thanks." She slipped the phones off and
awkwardly stretched out her hand toward Brookes. "Hold me," she
said, closing her eyes, trying to blot out what she'd seen.
"You
were vindicated," Brookes said. "Right on the money." He
stroked her hair. "I guess they'll have to take notice now."
She
allowed herself a sad smile. "Too late for that."
The
conversation finished. They all knew what was coming. It was unspoken. The
countdown was already under way.
Explanations
Each mistake is now listed and categorized:
1. 
Add
comma (punctuation)
2. Close space (spelling)
3. Add and (grammar)
4. Substitute like
for as (simile)
5. Lower case "he" (quotation
rule)
6. Spacing error (typo)
7. Scrutinizing (spelling)
8. ... [ellipsis] (punctuation)
9. Add comma (punctuation)
10. Delete comma (punctuation)
11. Delete second "he" (typo)
12. Dissipated (spelling)
13. Add missing quotation mark (punctuation)
14. Add missing apostrophe (punctuation)
15. Delete Bell 47G and substitute helicopter (or Jetranger)
(technical continuity)
16. Substitute twin towers of for lone tower of (incorrect
fact). Please note that during the timeline this novel was written,
the World Trade Towers were standing.
17. Insert (new) paragraph (structure)
18. Capitalize Airport (capitalization)
19. Okay (spelling)
20. Substitute were for are (grammar, continuity)
Score
How did you do? You
might have possibly found more than 20 mistakes ... some judgment calls
are very fine.
All 20 correct: Excellent editing!
16-19: Good editing, but not perfect.
11-15: Not bad, but still a ways to go.
6-10: Definitely need to improve your editing skills.
0-5: Call us! We can help you!
